One Choice
by paradigmofsecrecy
Summary: Sequel to Inescapable: Learn how Lily's future with James relies on her past with Severus.
1. Chapter 1

0----------0

James knew that he had to decide right then what he was going to do. If he was going to get married to Stacy, then he'd have to leave now and never look back. The thought of leaving Lily hurt him. The thought of her being alone hurt him. The thought of living without her, hurt him. Now, it hurt enough. He hurt enough now to walk away from his fake life. He smiled for the first time in five years.

"I'm staying."

Albus nodded gently. Sirius and Remus smiled to each other. They were so happy that James was finally coming to his senses. Sirius kissed his boyfriend before he joined James and Albus in moving Lily. They weren't going far, but James was taking extreme caution. Once they got her settled, Albus stayed with her. James and Sirius had wedding details to cancel.

0----------0

Lily felt his hand, and then heard his voice. She was comforted even though she knew that he would not stay long. He helped her escape from the others by pretending to battle with her. He had to keep up pretenses. This war was too big and too dark for anyone to discover a double agent. She tried to open her eyes, but they were too heavy and she closed them quickly. Apparently, that was enough for him to start in on her.

"My sacrifice means nothing if you get killed by willingly risking your life."

Lily's subconscious claimed her before she could say anything in response.

0----------0

Lily saw him standing in the doorway of room. The tattoos special features worked just as well as at school. No one knew where she went; no one except him. She left her family the moment she could, and had been living at the Leaky Cauldron until school began again. She noticed his stance. His eternal pride and the privilege to which he was born showed in his every movement.

"I told you not to contact me."

Lily could tell that he was deciding whether to enter the room so that no one would see them, or to stay out in the hallway so that it was easier to create an alibi should he need one.

"I know you did, but you said so many other things that night. How am I supposed to know which one you actually meant?"

"You know damn well that I can't be seen with you."

"Then perhaps you should close the door."

He took another second to decide his course of action before he took a step in and closed the door behind him. He saw her. She was sitting cross-legged on the bed, as it was the only piece of furniture in the little apartment, with her long, red hair hanging down around her face. His hands flexed from wanting to reach for her. He watched her get off the bed and walk over to him. She got very close and reached out to him. He flinched back.

"Say what you intended for me to hear, but make it quick."

She withdrew her hand and stared at him. She sat back down on the bed and looked into his dark eyes.

"This is the last time, and I promise not to bother you again."

She looked down at her hands. She knew that he didn't want to discuss it, but she needed to hear it one last time before she could begin to accept his decision. He felt her inner turmoil. He walked over to her and reached down to touch her hair. He spoke quietly.

"You are not a bother, but I've already explained why we can't be together anymore."

"There has to be another way. This can't be the only option. It can't be."

"If there was another way, don't you think that between the two of us that we would have found it by now? This is the only way that will work. I don't have a choice and neither do you."

"We could go to Dumbledore. Surely he can help us."

"No. I've already told you why I will never go to him for help. Besides, I'm still not convinced that he's not a part of this somehow. His past is dark."

"Oh come on, he defeated Grindlewald. He is a hero for the light."

"That doesn't mean that he isn't playing a part in this."

This argument never got them anywhere. She refused to distrust Dumbledore, while he refused to trust anyone blindly. It stood as just one more way that they complimented each other to perfection.

"Stop prevaricating and get to the point."

Lily looked up at him with all the sadness that had built up inside of her for the past four months.

"From this point on, you will not have anything to do with me, correct?"

"Correct."

"And this is so because you must protect me from Voldemort?"

Snape hissed.

"Don't say his name, Lillian. He knows when someone is calling to him. You mustn't say his name, nor should you do anything to bring attention to yourself. To do this will only attract his attention to you more so that it already is."

"You cannot even secretly meet me sporadically to just spend time with me?"

"No, I can never have anything but contempt for you as far as everyone else is concerned."

"So we're back to pretending to hate each other?"

"With us both being such good pretenders, it's worked for the past three years."

"What am I supposed to do without you? Go back to pretending to be perfect for everyone?"

"You are supposed to let him see you. James can give you exactly what you want. He loves you, and he can give you a life without darkness. He doesn't expect you to be perfect. He just wants you to trust him."

"He knows something's wrong. He wanted me to stay with him instead of here."

"That would have been safer than staying here."

"You are actually encouraging me to fall in love with James."

Lily tried to get up to cry in the corner where he couldn't see her, but he caught her hips as she turned to move. He brought her down into his lap and moved his hands to cradle her face mere inches from his own. Lily inhaled his scent of saffron and mugwart. He looked deep into her emerald eyes with his own and spoke passionately to her.

"I love you. I am in love with you, and that is not going to change. You can be safe or you can be near, but I cannot protect you if I am with you. I refuse to be the reason that you die, Lillian."

Her tears always affected him like nothing else because she did not cry for the insignificant. He watched her fight against Death Eaters and dark followers. They'd broken bones and gashed out her flesh, and not once had she cried. Voldemort himself had tortured her for days before she was rescued and he was angry because she would not break.

"James can keep you safe and he can love you."

"He will never be you."

"Knowing that is the only reason that I can give you up, but you will learn to love him in your own way that will replace the hurt that I must leave you with."

Silence engulfed them as Lily cried for the love that she must somehow learn to forget. He cradled her and rocked her gently without saying anything until she stopped crying and just clung to him.

"You'll need to leave this place tomorrow."

He told her knowing that if someone knew she was the one that he visited then all of this pain would be for naught.

"I'll owl James and see if the offer still stands."

He nodded his head. Tonight was the last time that he could hold her like this. He must never allow her to lure him in like this again for her own safety. In a few weeks, he would join the Dark Lord and if he was good enough to get within the inner-circle, then maybe, he could keep Lily safe and off the Dark Lord's radar.

0----------0

"What the hell are you doing here, Murderer?"

Lily heard James' voice and felt the hand holding her own tense slightly. Then, she heard the voice that had been scolding her earlier speak to him.

"I am here because you had better things to do today than to stay here with her."

James nearly growled in anger.

"I left to correct a mistake that almost took place, but I am back now and won't be leaving. You however will be."

Lily felt the tug on her hand as he tried to get up and move away from her. She grasped it tighter. She opened her eyes long enough to see the two of them facing off.

"Stop."

James rushed over to her bed, and Severus turned back to her.

"You're awake, Lily!"

"Very observant Potter."

"You're the one who put her here, Eater. Why don't you leave before you cause…"

"Stop you two."

Each man looked contrite at having to be asked twice by the woman that he loved to behave. Each took one side, opposite of the other, of Lily and grabbed a hand.

"Lily, how long have you been awake?"

"How would she know, Potter?"

James looked at Lily who still had her eyes closed but was probably listening. He watched as she squeezed Snape's hand. Severus looked at James.

"She woke up a few hours ago, but not for very long."

"Why didn't you come and get someone?"

"I've monitored her."

"I should have been notified."

"You are supposed to be getting married. I didn't think you would be aware that Lily was here at all. She hasn't seen you in over five years. Why would you be here when she needs you this time?"

James stood up abruptly. Severus followed his rise with his eyes. Lily spoke quietly.

"Severus, not now."

Snape looked as though he wanted to argue, but refrained from doing so until later.

"James, can you let us talk for a few minutes?"

"I need to talk to you about some things Lily. Severus can wait."

"Potter, she requested your absence. I will not be so polite."

"She will want to hear what I have to say."

"James, you and I can talk after Severus and I are done talking, but right now I need the room with him."

James looked at her in disbelief. To be fair, she still thought that he was with Stacy. He kissed her forehead and walked past Severus to exit the room. Once he was outside hearing range and the door securely magiced against intrusion, Severus sat back down next to Lily. He started to speak, but Lily interrupted him.

"No lectures, please."

"Alright. How are you feeling?"

"Like I was attacked by a room full of followers."

Lily tried to smile but the swelling in her face made that hurt. She felt Severus place his hand on her head and rub his thumb across her forehead where James had kissed her seconds ago.

"Wiping it off?"

"As much as I can."

"Sev, we told his fiancé about the baby."

Severus' thumb stopped moving as did his lungs stop breathing. He was absolutely still until Lily pulled him forward to lay his head on her chest. He was completely somber. Lily spoke.

"I didn't tell them."

"They should know what I did. James at least."

"Do you want him to hurt you?"

"James should know that I murdered his daughter."


	2. Chapter 2

0------------0

"Sev, we told his fiancé about the baby."

Severus' thumb stopped moving as did his lungs stop breathing. He was absolutely still until Lily pulled him forward to lay his head on her chest. He was completely somber. Lily spoke.

"I didn't tell them."

"They should know what I did. James at least."

"What would that solve?"

"James should know that I murdered his daughter."

0------------0

Severus looked up at Lily. She looked down at his face and frowned.

"Sev, we've already decided not to tell any more people. Everyone who needs to know already knows what happened."

"James should know."

"He would never understand that it was an accident on your part."

"I knew what I was creating when He asked me to make it."

"And you had no idea that He was going to use it against me."

"Of course not."

"James will never understand that. He doesn't understand how we are, and he surely doesn't understand what you went through after you realized how the potion was used."

"None of that matters Lillian."

"It all matters. I've accepted the truth about what happened. I accept your part in what happened and I've dealt with it. I don't want to go through that again with James. He doesn't need to know that you made the poison that was on the envelope that he gave me. Maybe five years ago it would have helped him to have someone to blame, but now it's just bringing up old wounds. He's getting married. He's moving on with his life."

"I don't think so. That's what he wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh, well, I'll talk to him in a few minutes, but what happened last night after I escaped?"

"I was punished for my 'useless' dueling skills."

Lily skimmed her hand over the parts that she could reach, and tried to look at all the rest.

"It wasn't too bad since there was another distraction of Aurors who came in right after you left."

"Geez, Severus. I guess next time we'll have to make it look more real."

"There will not be a next time. I meant what I said earlier. I did not enter into a life that I hate to protect someone who goes out and risks her life on purpose."

"I'm sorry Severus. We'd just gotten finished telling Stacy about the baby, and then James and I had it out. I just needed to get away for a while, and that was the only helpful thing that Albus had for me to do at the time. Had I realized that Followers were going to storm the house before I could even begin the assignment, I would have declined the offer and moped around at home."

"It was a last minute change. Someone brought back intel that some traitors were there and He wanted us to make sure that they were punished."

"Too bad it wasn't you who found me first."

"I didn't even realize who Avery was fighting until I felt how strong the stinging was."

Severus rubbed his chest. Lily gently ran her fingers over the back of her neck.

"I guess these were a good idea after all."

0-------------0

Lily dragged Severus through the underground tunnel that James had shown her that led to Hogsmeade.

"That is the most ridiculous thing that you have ever suggested, Lily."

"It makes perfect sense to me. It's not like anyone will know why we have them."

"Come on Lily. You cannot be serious."

"I should hope that I'm not Sirius. Otherwise, you'd be cursing me right now."

Lily chuckled at the joke that had gotten old halfway through first year.

"Now I know that you are intoxicated."

"I am not. Not yet anyway, but you are."

"Clearly, for only intoxicated would I allow you to drag me to Hogsmeade to get magical tattoos."

"If you are serious about getting Marked, then I want mine to be there first. That will make it stronger than the other mark."

"Great, so I'll not only be in pain from Him but from you also. Wonderful."

Lily stopped walking, and turned to face Severus.

"If you really don't want to, we'll turn around and go back right now."

They stood in silence for a few moments as Severus considered.

"I don't want Him to use our connection to get to you."

"From what I read, He won't be able to use it as a pathway. The way that the connection works is to give you a sense of where I am, so that you can apparate to me if I need you."

"If that is true, you cannot use it for just anything. You can only use it when you are in dire need of my help."

"I don't think I can control it. My brain will send a signal, so I don't know if I will have a say in when it signals you."

Severus saw the sincerity in Lily's face. She couldn't have him out there where other people existed, but she could have him here where it was just the two of them. Here where there was no one else to impress or worry over. Here they didn't have to defend or explain. They could just be together and love each other for however long they were allowed.

"Let's do this before I sober up."

"Oh, shut up Sev. You're just upset that you didn't think of it first."

"Oh yes, that's the reason."

Lily and Severus walked hand in hand up and out of the tunnel and snuck to the tattoo shop that was on the far side of town. The inside was deserted except for the owner who sat up front reading the newspaper. She looked up at the pair and stood to greet them.

"What can I help you to with?"

"We want to get something like this."

Lily said as she handed the paper with all of the research on it over to the woman. The owner read the specifications on the paper with an interested look and brought her eyes up to meet Lily's.

"This could take a while. This is spellwork is very complicated."

"The spellwork we can do for each other. We just need you to tell us at which point to perform each spell."

The artist stared at Lily in disbelief. At thirty-four, she could not confidently perform the spells that this sixteen year old wanted, but the girl herself was confident that she could perform it on the boy and vice-versa.

"Young man, do you feel confident on these spells enough to perform them on her?"

"The spellwork will not present a problem."

The owner shrugged and went to clean out a cubicle to get started. With all the innovations of the magical world, the barbaric tattooing process favored by the muggles was still the most effective way to create a lasting tattoo of quality.

"I just need to know into which design you would like for the spells to be woven. I have some general sketches in the portfolio over on the wall if you need ideas."

"That won't be necessary. We've already got which images we want."

Severus looked at Lily because he had not chosen anything relating to tattoos. She pulled some parchment out of her robes and unfolded them to let him see. She had drawn several versions of a flower that Severus thought looked like a lily and on the other sheet was a snake around a smoking potion vile. Severus shrugged to let Lily know that he didn't hate the design.

"So, whoever wants to go first can have a seat and tell me where you want the design."

Lily knew where she wanted hers, but didn't know if Severus knew how the magic of the tattoos worked.

"You need to put it somewhere important. The connection works by seizing the nerves and overloading them with the external connection. My tattoo will be on the back of my neck, so you'll need to pick somewhere that is not usually susceptible to pain. That way you will recognize when it is me and not something else."

0-------------0

"Lily, are you okay?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah, sorry. I just was lost for a moment."

"These have been useful I suppose."

"James still doesn't know what it really is. He just thinks that it's a pretty tattoo."

"Well, I haven't used yours nearly as much as you've used mine."

"It is not my fault that I am a magnet for trouble."

Severus smirked at Lily and continued to listen to her heart. He felt Lily combing his hair with her fingers. No one ever realized that Lily was the main reason that his hair was greasy so much. Since third year, she couldn't keep her hands out of it and sometimes he was too busy to wash it every time she got done playing with it, but he enjoyed it too much to tell her to stop.

"The potion is almost ready."

Lily looked down at him.

"It was much more difficult to reverse this one than the others, but I think I've finally found the right combination of ingredients. I just want to test it before I give it to you."

"Thank you."

"I am just trying to fix the one thing that I can. I can't give you your daughter back, but hopefully this potion will let you have other children."

Severus grabbed his left forearm suddenly. He and Lily exchanged a look of understanding. Severus stood up, but leaned back down and nuzzled her cheek with his own for a second before leaving without saying anything to her.

0-------------0

James walked in just as Severus walked out.

"What do you want James?"

He sat down next to her on the bed. She cocked an eyebrow and looked at him.

"Lily, I've been here all night and most of today."

"Wow, I'm impressed now."

James' hurt expression softened Lily's words.

"You wanted to talk?"

"Yes, I'm not marrying Stacy. I realized that I would rather fight for what is real between us than fake a relationship with her just because it's easy."

"We can't just pick up where we left off."

"I know. I don't want to pretend that time hasn't passed. I love who you are now more than I loved you before all this time passed between us."

"You don't even know the woman that I've become these past five years."

James couldn't articulate his feeling the way that he wanted to, so he sat quietly for a moment.

"That is something that has changed. You used to ramble until you finally made your point, but here you are taking the time to organize your thoughts."

"I want you to understand that I have dealt with everything that broke us up before. I couldn't deal with it when it happened and try to help you get through everything when every time that I looked at you I thought you would finally understand what I did and want to kill me. I kept waiting for you to realize what an atrocious thing I did to you, but you just kept comforting me."

"I'd just lost our baby. I didn't want to lose you too. You were all that I had left James; I had to take care of you so that you could understand that I didn't hate you. And I never envied the decision that you had to make. I don't like that you had to make the decision, but you thought that we could have more children. Knowing now that we can't, would you have saved the baby?"

"No, I could not let you die."

Lily smiled softly to him, and then she heard a high pitched voice screeching loudly. James rolled his eyes and began to get off the bed. Lily understood who it was.

"You did tell her that you weren't going to marry her, right?"

"Yes, but she thinks that I will have to stay with her now."

"Why would you have to stay with her _now_?"

James ran his hand through his hair nervously.

"Stacy says that she's pregnant."

0-------------0


	3. Chapter 3

Lily smiled softly to him, and then she heard a high-pitched voice screeching loudly. James rolled his eyes and began to get off the bed. Lily understood who it was.

"You did tell her that you weren't going to marry her, right?"

"Yes, but she thinks that I will have to stay with her now."

"Why would you have to stay with her _now_?"

James ran his hand through his hair nervously.

"Stacy says that she's pregnant."

0-------------0

Lily blinked.

"Is it true?"

James looked at the woman that he loved more than life.

"It's not impossible."

"Just tell me the truth. I know that you've had sex with her in the past five years; the big question is if you've had sex with her in the past four weeks which I assume is a yes."

James' blush told Lily that she was correct. James spoke assuredly.

"She only mentioned it after I told her that I was leaving her for you."

"Please tell me that you did not say to her that you were leaving her for me."

"Give me some credit. I told her that I didn't want to get married just because it was what everyone expected me to do."

"How much does a baby change your plans?"

"Not as much as she would like."

James said quickly because Stacy's voice was just outside the door. The door was warded against evil…which Stacy was not, technically. The door flew open and in the frame stood a beautifully created masterpiece of a woman.

"Stacy, how did you even get here?"

"I flooed. Once I explained that my groom was late to his own wedding, flooing straight here wasn't a problem. Geez, you look horrible Lily."

Lily smirked sarcastically, and then she looked at James to see what his next move would be. He stood up and walked over to Stacy.

"What are you doing here?"

"The wedding starts in twenty minutes, Jai. You're not even dressed. I knew Sirius would be a bad choice for a best man."

"I'm not going to marry you. I already told you this morning that it's not right for me."

"How will it look for us to have a baby together and not get married before hand? I know that we're cutting it close, but it's still believable at this point if people think the baby came a few weeks early."

"If you are pregnant and if it is my baby, then I will be glad to support it in everyway, but I am not going to marry you and be unhappy. If you want, Lily and I can raise the baby since you've stated repeatedly over the last three years that you hate children. Either way, you and I are no longer together and at no point will we ever be again."

"You don't believe that I'm pregnant?"

"The circumstances are a little outstanding."

"I can't believe that you're accusing me of lying and cheating. If I _am_ pregnant and if it is _your_ baby, I can't believe this."

James tapped a spot on Lily's bed that called the nurse. Stacy's face fell.

"What are you doing James?"

"I am calling the nurse to get her to bring a pregnancy potion up here. It will tell us in a few seconds if you are pregnant."

"I'm not far enough along for it to show."

James looked at Lily, and then he turned and looked back at Stacy.

"That's bullshit. The potion will show as soon as the baby is conceived."

Stacy looked between James and Lily.

"What would you know about the signs of pregnancy?"

Lily chuckled and spoke for the first time to the goddess in the room.

"He knows a lot actually. He's the one who realized that I was pregnant before even I noticed a difference."

Stacy face turned almost as white as her dress. Lily chuckled again and spoke.

"If you change your story to the truth now, then we won't have to bother the nurse with the potion."

"Stacy, the potion will tell us the truth either way."

Stacy, seeing that her current tactic wasn't working, shifted emotions. She crumbled to the floor, then began sobbing hysterically and wailing worse than Moaning Myrtle.

"I…ju..just wa…want…ed… you…to…to…to love me!"

"Oh Merlin, James go get her some tissue."

James left the room at Lily's command. As soon as James was out of the room, Stacy leapt across the room and wrapped her hands around Lily's throat.

"Die Bitch!"

Lily looked up at the woman who was trying to strangle her if one could call her jerking supple fingers strangulation. This woman had obviously never been in a real fight. Lily grabbed her hands and pried them easily off her throat before she head butted Stacy in the nose. James entered the room to see Stacy stumbled backwards onto her butt.

"James! She broke my nose!"

James threw the tissue at Stacy and ran to Lily's side. She waved him off with the hand that wasn't rubbing her forehead. James grabbed her face in both of his hands to check for further damage before he turned on Stacy.

"What the hell is your problem? How can you attack someone who is obviously in pain?"

"Bitch deserves to die."

James and Lily watched as Stacy was thrown back against the wall and rose a few feet off the floor. Lily looked at James who was looking at Lily. Stacy was looking between them, but no one knew what was going on until a shadow filled the door frame.

"I suggest you leave before you earn the fate that _you_ deserve."

"What the hell are you doing here, Snape?"

Severus walked into the room with his wand held up. Lily knew that this was for show because when Severus got angry things just tended to happened.

"Sev, it's alright."

"No, it is not. Get her out of here Potter before I do what I really want to do."

James tried to protest, but Lily waved him off, so he walked over to Stacy who had been dropped suddenly when Severus' attention turned to Lily.

"Why don't you stay out of it, Murderer?"

James snapped at Severus who was silently fuming. Lily grabbed projected an image into Severus' mind that let him relax.

"If you would take care of her, then I wouldn't have to."

"I spent all of last night here and only left this morning for a few hours to call off the wedding. I have been taking care of her."

Stacy tried to speak, but Severus wasn't in the mood.

"You should walk away while you're still able."

Stacy's horrified face turned to James for protection, but he was staring at Lily who spoke.

"Stacy, just leave. James has already told you twice that he's called off the wedding, and if you threaten me one more time Severus will probably permanently disfigure you. Now would be the best time cut your losses and move on."

Still unable to speak, Stacy huffed and walked out. She did have some dignity left. As soon as the door closed behind her, Lily became the center of attention once more by gasping in pain and curling around her stomach in pain. Each man rushed to the bed to check on the love of his life.

"Severus, is it supposed to do this?"

James looked at Snape with loathing.

"You did this to her?"

Severus ignored him, and began to maneuver Lily so that she lay flat on the bed. He rubbed his hands over her stomach, and lifted her shirt to look at the scars that his previous potion left behind. He did notice that the scars were diminished slightly. He smiled at her and leaned in close to her.

"It's working, baby. I fixed it."

James watched the exchange with curious contempt. He always knew Lily was a morbid obsession of Severus', but he never realized that she might have reciprocated his affection until this moment.

"What's going on? What's wrong?"

Severus stood up straight and Lily looked like she was no longer in pain. She looked into James' eyes with tears in her's.

"Severus made a cure for the poison. See, all the scars are gone."

James glanced at her flat stomach.

"How did he know how to cure it? That potion was over five years ago."

Severus and Lily watched each other before Severus spoke.

"I knew how to cure it because I made the poison five years ago."


	4. Chapter 4

Lily has been in labor for nine hours already. James, Sirius, Remus, and Albus were all waiting anxiously out in the waiting area. James had to take a break for a few minutes, and that is when Severus got his chance to see her. He opened her door and winced as he felt another of her contractions. He probably realized that she was in labor before she did. He glamoured himself so that no one would see him go in to see her.

"Lillian."

"Who are you?"

Severus smiled at her lovingly.

"Don't you recognize me? Maybe this then."

Severus pulled at the neck of his robes to reveal part of his tattoo. Lily started crying.

"I didn't think you would be here."

"I shouldn't be, but knew that you needed me. When have I ever been able to deny you anything?"

"Severus, you have to promise me that you will protect Harry as you have protected me. He is a part of me, and if anything should happen…"

"Don't talk like that."

"Severus, I'm being realistic for once. I love him so much, and I want to know that he is protected by someone I trust with my life if something should happen. Promise me right now."

"I promise Lily. I will protect the part of you in him, and I will loathe the part of James in him."

"Severus, please."

"I will protect him with my life should the worst happen, my love."

Severus sat with Lily for a few minutes just holding her and whispering words of encouragement and love. He got up from the bed as he felt James coming. He handed Lily a potion that he made for the pain.

"This will make it go away."

"I can't take anything. They told me that it would hurt Harry."

"I know you better than they do. Besides, I created this just for you. It won't hurt any part of you."

Lily took the potion and felt the affects almost immediately. Severus left just as James and the doctor came in. After the examination, the doctor told her that she was ready and to push whenever she felt the urge to.

He was so beautiful. He had a full head of hair and a birthmark that looked slightly like a lily on the back of his neck.


End file.
